Robert Cornett spoke about helping people write the end of their story during a presentation at the Saugerties Library last week, and it wasn’t for a writers workshop.
Cornett, 73, a certified death doula, described his work helping people find a sense of agency and meaning as they navigate what he referred to as a journey into the unknown. Everybody dies. Cornett helps people come to terms with that finality.
More than a dozen people attended the mid-day forum which covered the history and services of the end-of-life doula movement, as well as tips on how to join this growing field of nonmedical companions who work to ensure comfort, dignity, and personal wishes throughout the dying process.
Stemming from the ancient Greek word “doule,” meaning “woman servant” or “one who helps,” both the more widely known birth doula practice of supporting women through childbirth and the death doula movement have deep historical roots. According to Cornett, a form of hospice, specialized care for people expected to live six months or less, was offered along pilgrimage paths as early as the Middle Ages, eventually paving the way for the 1967 establishment of today’s hospice system.
A pioneer of the end-of-life doula movement, New York City social worker Henry Fersko-Weiss began offering specialized training on end-of-life care soon after attending a birth doula workshop in 2003, quickly realizing that people also go through intense labor while approaching death. In 2015, Fersko-Weiss co-founded the International End-of-Life Doula Association, an organization that has trained more than 10,000 death companions around the globe, including Cornett, who completed the three-day course and yearlong certification program in 2022.
Cornett’s interest in death work began at Harvard Divinity School, where he studied conceptions of the afterlife in world religions. His career later focused on running a holistic education center, followed by 25 years in organizational development and coaching.
“40 years later, it’s an honor to use my skills and my previous interests in death and spirituality to comfort people and their loved ones at the end of life,” he said. “This type of training didn’t exist when I was in school,” Cornett said.
Cornett outlined three general phases of end-of-life doula work: summing up and planning, conducting vigil, and post-death reprocessing.
Peggy Kuras, director of volunteer services for Hudson Valley Hospice, where Cornett volunteers as one of 25 active death doulas, described the complementary care as invaluable.
“Our doulas do everything from talking through concerns, and personal stories to helping patients create a leave-behind project and actually plan for their end of life by making known what they want the atmosphere to be like,” she said. “Sitting vigil and just being with a patient at the very end is unfortunately not something our doctors, nurses, and social workers have the time and capacity to do.”
Attendees lingered long after the formal presentation, sharing resources, fears, experiences, and even a song.
For Beth Duerr, 49, who moved to Woodstock last month, the talk was an opportunity to deepen her growing curiosity about becoming a doula.
“I’ve never actually been with a dying person before, only cats, but I’m very drawn to it and want to see if it would feel as good in practice as in theory,” she said.
Patti Fisco, 65, a Saugerties-based nurse for 42 years, told Duerr that comforting patients during their final moments was among her career highlights.
“It was the best thing I could do. I used to stay after my shift at a nursing home to just be there for someone. It gave me such peace,” she said.
Jennifer Russell, 57, director of the library, predicted the event’s popularity.
“Death is a subject that is becoming more and more spoken about. People are wanting to end lives in a way that feels respectful and healthy but they don’t even know their choices” she said, noting how doulas often empower people to handle funerals and other details in advance, both to suit their wishes and so the family doesn’t have to do it.
The event ended with an impromptu performance by three attendees who sing with Hudson Valley’s Threshold Choir, an all-volunteer group with 200 chapters across the globe that harmonizes non-denominational, soothing songs at the bedsides of the dying.
The singers stood huddled, eyes gently closed, their voices blending softly in three-part harmony, bringing a palpable sense of peace and calm to the multipurpose room. An audible communal sigh, as if on cue, came from the audience, bringing the program to a serene, resonant close.
Chana Widawski is a contributing reporter. Send correspondence to reporting@theoverlooknews.com
